SMILE

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
6. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
8. Flashlight: A metal tube that is used to store dead batteries.
9. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
10. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
11. When you go into Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.