Tuesday, May 31, 2011

NEVERISMS

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument

Never act as if you’re looking for someone; they should be looking for you

Never underestimate the effectiveness of a straight cash bribe

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done [the] day after tomorrow just as well

Never order barbecue in place that serves quiche-gore Vidal

Never use a long word when a short one will do

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died

Never trust a skinny ice cream man

Never make a speech at a country dance of a football game

Never put anybody on hold

Never walk away from a long shot

Never call your captain unless it’s murder

Never drink martinis with beautiful suspects

Never give your girl and dog the same kind of jewelry

Never confuse the improbable with the impossible

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