FROM THE TRAVEL DICTIONARY

Travelanche n. When a considerable amount of bags and/or suitcases get packed into the back of a vehicle to the point that they are about to fall out.

Backpackistan n. The country that exists in the minds of twenty-something-year-old travellers throughout the entire world. Its citizens are identifiable by their dreadlocks, faux-tribal tattoos and strict, tiresome adherence to Bob Marley tunes. They eat falafel and juggle fire torches. Their economy is based around mooching, and the sale of Tibetan prayer flags and Che Guevarra marijuana pipes. Backpackistanis are united by a common language: broken English.

Travel Wanker n. When someone has travelled overseas and, upon returning, can speak of nothing else. They are at their worst when in the company of fellow travel wankers. The conversation quickly deteriorates into an excruciating game of one-upmanship.

 Travel Nazi n. A person who transforms into a completely serious and un-fun mood when the time of travel has come. They always appear to be in haste as they are always 10 to 15 feet in front of the family. They must arrive 2 hours early to an airport gate and you may not leave your seat no matter how much you need to urinate or else "you might miss the flight."

Tourist n. Stupid jerks from outta town that take pictures of anything and everything and annoy the crap out of all the locals and will stand in the middle of the road, block traffic and almost get hit by a car to take a picture of a church.

 Passport Constipation n. When you have applied for a passport with the US Government 6 months ago and you are leaving tomorrow and still can't squeeze out a passport for your spring break trip.