MISSING NESSIE

Concern is growing in Scotland over the fate of the fabled Loch Ness monster, which hasn’t been spotted in 18 months—the longest stretch without a sighting in 90 years. “It’s very upsetting news,” said accountant and Nessie expert Gary Campbell. Campbell, who has collected 1,036 reports of sightings, including some dating back 1,500 years, thinks the prehistoric creature is still alive. “I’m convinced that Nessie has just taken some time out,” he said, “and will be back with a vengeance this year.”