FOOD DISASTERS

The Food and Drug Administration has issued a number of dangerous food recalls in the last few years. But there was a time when food didn’t just attack us after we ingested it. Some foods just cut out the middleman and created wide-scale disasters without contaminating a single colon.

1. The Boston Molasses Flood of 1919

A 50-foot high tank of sweet syrupy goodness stood over the North End of Boston when the massive steel behemoth burst open on an unusually warm January afternoon and violently drizzled over everything in its path, killing 21 people. The viscous liquid created quite a disturbing sound as it coated two city blocks. A Boston Herald reporter described how the sweet syrup tidal waves created a “muffled roar [that] burst suddenly upon the air.” It also moved quite fast as it slithered through the town into a destructive fist that flipped houses and buildings, knocked over horses as if they were tasty slices of French toast and even smashed an elevated railroad structure “like an eggshell.” If you’re suddenly thinking about making an IHOP run, seek counseling immediately.

2. The London Beer Flood of 1814

In 1814, Meux’s Horse Shoe Brewery in London constructed a brewing vat that was 22 feet tall and 60 feet in diameter, with an interior big enough to seat 200 for dinner — which is exactly how its completion was celebrated. (Why 200? Because a rival had built a vat that seated 100, of course.)

After the dinner, the vat was filled to capacity. Unfortunately, they overlooked a faulty supporting hoop. Yup, the vat ruptured, causing other vats to break, and the resulting commotion was heard up to 5 miles away.

A wall of 1.3 million gallons of dark beer washed down the street, caving in two buildings and killing nine people by means of “drowning, injury, poisoning by the porter fumes, or drunkenness.”

The story gets even more unbelievable, though. Rescue attempts were blocked and delayed by the thousands who flocked to the area to drink directly off the road. And when survivors were finally brought to the hospital, the other patients became convinced from the smell that the hospital was serving beer to every ward except theirs. A riot broke out, and even more people were left injured.

3. The Wales Tapioca Freighter Time Bomb of 1972

Tapioca might sound like an innocent treat that’s the favorite of toothless infants and toothless elderly the world over, but the right conditions can turn it into a bulky ship destroyer. The crew of the Swiss freighter Cassarate were hauling 1,500 tons of the stuff when a fire started in some timber in the upper holds. The freighter docked in Cardiff, Wales, so firefighters could extinguish the blaze the crew had kept under control for more than 25 days. But the fire wasn’t the ship’s biggest problem. The water from the firefighter’s hoses seeped into the cargo hold, and the fire started cooking the tapioca. The food swelled to massive size and raised concerns that 500 truckloads of the dessert treat could buckle the ship’s supports and sink it. Fortunately, crews were able to stamp out the fire and cool down the pudding before it could do any real damage to the ship’s supports, the town’s docks or the crew’s blood sugar levels.