PEOPLE BEING PEOPLE

Portland, Ore., officials decided to empty a reservoir containing 38 million gallons of drinking water—enough to fill 57 Olympic swimming pools—after a teen was caught peeing into it. “Our customers don’t anticipate drinking water that’s been contaminated by some yahoo,” explained water authority boss David Shaff. But Dallas Swonger, 18—who was cited for public urination—insisted he had only peed on a wall near the water, adding that a little urine in the reservoir was no big thing. “During the summertime,” he said, “I’ve seen dead animals in there.”